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Time to Flee from a Big Breasted Blonde? Catherine Teased for PC Release

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Jan 3
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Have you ever had that horrible nightmare where you’re climbing up a block puzzle, fleeing from the demonic representation of your girlfriend, while getting blackout drunk and sleeping with an absolutely stunning big breasted blonde girl?

Just me? Well, you’re in luck. It seems that Sega is teasing the PC crowd with the release of Catherine. How? In a simple news post on the Bayonetta Steam news feed titled ‘Baa‘. This is similar to the way they teased Vanquish on the PC, by giving Bayonetta a small patch that included a single image – that of the Vanquish protagonist. Sega do like using Bayonetta.

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Now, unless Sega has decided to go after Coffee Stain Studios’ (Goat Simulator) genre by simply replacing the Goat with a Sheep, I think we all know what this means. It’ll soon be time to take on the role of Vincent as he climbs up silly difficult block-puzzles while escaping Katherine. Or will he be escaping Catherine?

That’s the real question. For those who haven’t played Catherine – a game I still own the PS3 Stray Sheep Edition of – you take on the role of a completely useless commitment-phobe called Vincent, with the seeming inability to speak a coherent sentence to any female. All while having a fantastic girlfriend who is looking for marriage (Katherine) and then sleeping with the aforementioned big breasted blonde (Catherine).

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The game has little good to say about either gender, but what it does have a lot to say about is puzzle gameplay. If I remember correctly, it’s very difficult puzzle gameplay as well. Torturous, but in a way that makes you want to keep on playing until you’ve won. All while having moments where you badly respond to texts, sneak a peek at pictures sent to your in-game phone and often choose the wrong answer to relationship questions. That’s what I remember about Catherine and I absolutely loved it.

Is this the teased release of Catherine: Full Body? It’s more likely that this is Catherine Classic, which was leaked by the Australian Department of Classification last month. Only time will tell.

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