Lord of flog

[sheryar]

Nadeem Farooq Paracha imagines how a journalistic interview might go…

Salaam, Jamat Bin Jihad Bhai
Walaikumaslam!
How are you today?
Why do you want to know?
Just asking, sir.
You ask too many questions.
But I’m here to interview you!
No, I will speak and you will listen.
But …
Shut up, damn fool man!
But …
Quiet, or I’ll have you beheaded!
Gulp!
What?
I gulped.
Gulped what?
Err … air perhaps?
I thought I told you no questions!
But …
Keep quiet, you kaali chapati!
Kaali chapati?
Yes, that’s what you insects eat in Karachi, don’t you?
Do we? And what do you guys eat?
Is that a question?
Gulp!
You gulped again.
Yes.
Are you drunk?
No!
I think you are. I’ll have you flogged.
But …
Shut up, infidel! 80 lashes for you!
That’s not fair!
Okay, 75.
But …
Keep quiet. Now tell me, why did your newspaper send you here?
We want to know why your people have been flogging young girls?
Stupid question.
How come?
That’s now two stupid questions. Back to 80 lashes!
But, sir, why are you always lashing and flogging and beheading?
Stupid question number three. 101 lashes!
So be it!
Really?
Yes.
Okay, 79 lashes.
But why?
Because we are Muslims!
So are we in Karachi.
Nonsense! You all are pagans and women!
Women? That’s a gender.
How dare you! 109 lashes!
Huh?
Is that a question?
No, I mean …
Shut up, damn fool man! There is only one gender. Male!
How can you say that? God made women too.
1,000 lashes!
But why?
For committing sacralige.
But I didn’t!
You said God made women too.
But he did!
Quiet! 1,070 lashes!
Huh?
Another stupid question.
No it’s not.
Is so.
Is not.
Is so.
Is not.
Is so.
Is not.
Is so.
Okay, is so.
What?
I said, is so. I agree with you.
It’s a sin to let an infidel agree with you! 3,000 lashes!
But it’s your sin!
I am sinless!
But you kill, destroy, spread mayhem, behead, lash and flog!
Thank you.
You’re actually proud of this?
Just booking my place in paradise. You should too.
Really? How?
Here.
That’s a suicide jacket.
Yes. It’s cold up here. Wear it.
But I already have a jacket on.
Yes, but it doesn’t have the heavenly warmth of dynamite.
But I’ll die if the dynamite explodes.
Sure, and so would many other people around you.
But why should I kill them?
Because you are a true believer.
Oh, for heaven’s sake!
Exactly.
Can we get back to the girl’s flogging issue?
Wait a minute. Here, you see this goat?
Yes.
This is an educated goat.
Excuse me?
We are replacing girls’ schools with schools for goats.
But goats are animals!
So are women.
Oh, for heaven’s sake!
Exactly.
But why are you educating goats and not girls?
Because goats don’t talk back and aren’t immoral.
But men can be immoral too.
They can?
Of course.
I think you are trying to distract me with secular philosophy.
Tell me, what’s an educated goat like?
Like this one, here.
Yes, but it’s like any other goat.
So what should a goat look like, a dog?
I mean, how is she educated?
Educated goats eat less grass.
That’s crazy.
That’s a scientific fact.
Since when are you into science?
Oh, I know all about science. A djinn taught me.
A djinn taught you science?
Yes.
Can I see him?
He’s gone to Karachi. He does a TV show there.
A TV show?
Yes. He knows all about the conspiracies being hatched against the Muslims.
Really?
Yes, for example, recently he proved how the rays coming from the pyramid-eye on the dollar bill are creating earthquakes and the energy crises in Pakistan.
And you believe that?
Of course. Don’t you?
No.
Infidel! 19,000 lashes!
But I thought you were against watching TV.
I am.
Then what is your djinn doing on TV?
Educating goats.
Oh, for heaven’s sake.
Exactly.

Source: The Dawn Blog Blog Archive Lord of flog



irony???

[Ikram45]

Hah, really fun and interesting to read.

[Digital Jedi]

Nice share, great work!

[chukandar]

great article. good share

[AmplifiedtoRock]

Sucks...He is the other extreme of taliban..and is as much dangerous as them.

[SiB]

lol. It was a long but good read!
Totally worth the time!

[sheryar]

Originally Posted by AmplifiedtoRock

Sucks...He is the other extreme of taliban..and is as much dangerous as them.

phuck you

if you read his other articles

he is the kind of extreme pakistan phucking needs atm

the ones more interested in educating the folks

3 extremes in pakistan:

taliban
uneducated phucks
educated phucks


i think the educated phucks are the better of the 3

[noman]

educated phucks make sure that eneducated ones remain phucks.....so they are the worse kind...

[sheryar]

Originally Posted by noman

eneducated

you are one of the "eneducated" phucks aren't you

[Untamed Fantasy]

noman just got ***** slapped, educatedly.

Kudos.

[noman]

you just can't get out of your phuck mentality.....

i think the educated phucks are the better of the 3

[SiB]

Originally Posted by noman

you just can't get out of you[b]r[/b] phuck mentality.....

your*

Peace!

[Futtbucker]

Originally Posted by hpa

your*

Peace!

Look at who's pointing out mistakes in other people's grammar

[sheryar]

Originally Posted by noman

you just can't get out of your phuck mentality.....

Originally Posted by hpa

your*

Peace!

noman your continuous spelling errors just prove me right every time
and to think one would learn his lesson the first time

until Pakistanis start getting educated (by education i dont mean the education one gets in 'madrassas' by mullahs) there is no hope for its future

[noman]

if typo makes me illiterate...so be it...

anyways... i was talking on a topic and not on your personality....but you seem to get personal....