NOTE : i wrote this to the reply to foxe around 1.5 years back, but light went out and coudlnt post.. and then the topic diverted and cudnt post it back..
... the time has come for unveiling of my eternal hatred for them .
Panorama PC... They are
Sawesome...
they dont treat everyone like corporate costumers...they treat everyone like us better than that.. they treat us like crap ..the same crap that comes out of their butts and mouth both...
let me put this in better perspective for all..
According to the official panorama ruling.....
Basically Panoram shop is occupied with 3 types of people.
1- Those who Own the Shop and run the shop....they are the ones who are totally oblivious to the outside world, market rates, technological development..who have maximum lack of communication even amogst themselves and everyone quotes different prices and the highest prices quoted by anyone staff member becomes BARGAIN OF THE CENTURY for that costumer...(top secret: its not just BARGAIN OF THE CENTURY.. its is infact BARGAIN OF THE MELLINIUM.. as told to the costumer by the last person to bill you that you have in fact robbed them at that price")
2- those who are CORPORATE costumers to panorama....the most valuable and most elite person in the shop.. who always get executive treatment and most probably a coke everytime he comes..
(oh and by the way..CORPORATE costumers are those costumers..who come to panorama computers as either 2 A:- young, hip, torn jeans and sunglasses wearing (even in tha dark basement of hafeez center) guys whose head is half bald already due to extensive hair loss due to application of EXCESS of hair gel..( which can still be seen dripping from their earlobes) they always hold a juice bottle,ALWAYS and ask prices of " KOI NAYA LAPTOP?"" laptops and anything that plays mp3...(without actually knowing what that device is called or what it does.) those are the people for whom every one stands up and opens sealed laptop boxes and gives demonstration of every product..(which is real purpose of the shop thus giving peace of mind and soul to all panorama staff and owners that the product has been worth it and fulfilled its destiny by being touched by that costumer( latter to be repackaged and sold to less holy people)........................................... ...............................
and
type 2 B:- those Suit or At least TIE wearing people who have come to look for a DEVICE or GIZMO for their WIFE or KIDS and every seat in the shop is cleared for them to sit.. (and all of staf somehow try to relate to that costumer as their friend, busines acquaintance..relative friend ..DAD**)..those guys who will always want to show that altho they know EVERYTHING in the world about science and technology..yet they will always refer to it in English accent that "pata nai yeh kia BALLA hai,,my children asked for it"" and mediate next question " How do turn this thing on?"" the whole staff will drool in their own saliva for such Corporate clients and even lick clean the dust of the chairs for them.
3:- the demented, ridiculous,,3rd class. unworthy, poor illiterate people who come to their shop and are a source of constant headache and a nuisance to the pc buying society...(they must be squashed)
Latest
Statistical studies have shown.. that for the occupant in the shop
Type 1 Accounts for 10% of the daily gross FIXED staff of the shop
Type 2 A are 3%,..and type 2 B are 2.6% of daily gross MOBILE attendants of the shop...
Type 3 are the remaining 84.4% of the unwanted waste of space and excess.
Psychiatric analysis by 3rd party surveys show that
Type 1 have the authority 2nd only to the Prime Minister Of Pakistan..wich they will soon take over as well...
Type 2 A are the people whose life`s most precious possession is a 15K worth mobile phone which they even cant operate full themselves and transferring ring tones via bluetooth is the holy grail nirvana..
Type 2 B are those sick of the world ,EX-US GENERALS and MARSHALLs who must get the Elitestestestest Possible VVVVVVIP treatment or their correspondents will NUKE everyone on their command..the safety of us all lies in their hands.unless Type 1 take steps to please them and cool down their wrath( ...by bending over).
Type 3 are those people,, ...welll............there are no beter words .. to put it....ummmm.....welll ITS YOU AND ME...
When asked by the public (Those people who were Ex type 3.. now lost in the wilderness) about panorama computer, the polls reveal that....
Type 1 have only 1 weakness.. they must feed continuously..on the GREENs..and Blues and Red ..Notes (Dolla Dolla $$ Bills yo All!!!)) of their costumers or their Super powers wil Diminsh.and we will all be dooooomed......AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH.....WHO WILL PROTECT THE WORLD NOW????spider woman ..please come back we need you now...
Type 2 A will only see and ask prices of laptops and never buy them..90% of their time will be spent on exchanging the half smoked cigarettes with their similar looking EXtremely ghostly white friends and holding and reholding and reholding again in a different style and again reholding and shuffling their mobile phone.. the maaximum time their attention will be focused on their demanded product will comprise of asking.." yeh Pentium 4 hai??""( (this question is universal..it has nothing to do with the fact that their are no new pentium 4 laptops and core dou and core2dou are the new processors...every processor ever made Must be a Pentium 4 for them ..even if its made by AMD)...their last coment while leaving shop is "" yaar , uncle is coming form USA.. unse kahen gay,, woh laa den gay..atleast it will be genuine ..."""
Type 2 B will always see every product and as soon as a deal will start to finalize.. they will always speak in a Modified BRITISH type accent (private research showed that an ACTUAL BRITISHER was unable to comprehend what Type 2 B was saying...The nerve of that phony.
..he should either learn to speak from the Type 2B or exiled from Britian to Toba tek singh..).they will phone their wife and in a MINIMALISTIC, CODE Language consisting of only 3 lines.. they will reproduce that 3 line or 30sec message sent to them ,that will encompass a Gigantic magnitude of issues that will lead to a catastrophe for their wife if that product was bought( Mostly its just " My wife doesnt like this colour..you have it in pink??..No? ok.. i`ll see you latter..) and in 2 sec they are out of the door.. ...well... the seat dust licking was worth this anyway...
Type 3 are the people who usually saved up.. do know every aspect of the product...have mor knowledge about the PC and technology individually than ALL TYPE 1,2A,2B combined.. and will be tormented and tortured to a level on which a mental institution doesnt remain a commodity anymore... it becomes a necessity for survival..
ohh and almost missed this
critical review of the daily record book of the shop...and the cross interactions between the 3 groups..
Type 1 are usually the one eating KFC and Mcdonald Burgers during lunch and diner while
type 3 stand and wait patiently for them to finish..
Type 2 A only have enuf money in pocket to buy a MacBurger..for their cigaret and EVERY OTHER expenditure they will have to borrow from friends cuz their dads credit card not usefell at a KHOKHA..and Dad will be angry if they used the card for any legal thing other than smokingg.. you wont like the dad when he`s angry..
Type 2B.. their 18 lac worth car is parked outside and their kids off to american schools or LGS, their wife..actually is a trophy wife.. (according to them) but infact they are the true sense of the word RUN MUREED,..they will not buy anything unless their drink is served ..and still they wont buy due to some excuse cuz THEY ARE THE CORPORATES...(eavesdropping on their phone call conversation have lead to speculation that its the RUN MUREED factor more than the coraporate factor)
Type 3 is what make 97% of the Type 1 cash register . therefore they are to be treated like is a herd of sheep..or better yet donkeys..to be ridiculed and disgraced and still be overcharged..even if some majboor type3 complies to this excruciatingly painful behavior..then the ultimate trick in the book ... Donot claim warranties...HA HA HA ... in your face Type 3...Now Whose Laughing??? (in case if the reader missed.. they laughing ones are the type 1..type 3 will never have that previlige ever again..
Disclaimer..:
this article in no way, is affiliated with any illegal group, or faction or any independent party.. the data published here is for reference sake only and is hypothetical..
the facts given here are not subject to favoritism and are only true upto 99.99%..all the data shown have an error range of 0.01% maximum..no body is to be held responsible for any mistake or error...
the views expressed in this article are only specific to the minority that is type 3 (85.4%) and will be over-ruled as soon as Type 1 gain Presidential power of Pakistan..