fMy Life

[kashi]

i was wandering around and came to know about the site [credits to nofal]

fmylife.com

they are some really very interesting shares there and i am quoting some of them


Most favorite :

Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML

Today, my husband dropped me off at work, ten minutes later I got a text saying" I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said he "I dont know what youre talking about Megan". My name isnt Megan, not even close. FML

in loving memory of daac and patti's broken relationship

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn'tcome back. FML

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend proceeded to text graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

Today, my teacher demanded to talk to my dad because she thought he wasn't a good enough male role model because i'd misbehaved. i told her he had died of cancer in 2005. She said that my lie was rude, disgraceful, and that i should be ashamed, then gave me a detention. He actually did die. FML

Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML

[wildlaurel]

nice dig Kashi..

[Dr.Farhan]

nofel discovered it first,, but this is a GREAT GREAAT F`ed up site..

ROFLINIG...

the 3rd one is my favourite as well..

[kashi]

i am still LMAO at some other comments i am reading there , its just great

best of all

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks: "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML

I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

some more

[TsAr]

HahaHaha....Doc why do u alway like gayish stuff

[Dr.Farhan]

^^

[nofel]

lol thanks kashi for posting here

[SubZero]

always loved this site .

makes me feel good about myself and covers my fuck ups well good.

[Dr.Farhan]

here is one ORIGINAL from me..



"I was doing my maths work.. after doing my calcultions, i handed the calculator upside to the girl sitting in from of me,. her face turned red, and she slammed the desk, and Walked away..

i was multiplying 3625.5 by 16..and i m Gay.... Fmylife."

[Captain Oblivious]

I don't get it.

[stickman!]

80085.

BooBs.

dr.farhan (ajkal) = ghey.

its not your fault doc, life's unfair (remember, muhuee ?)......

-peace
stickman!

[Dr.Farhan]

You kids need to mature up your minds...

[stickman!]

Originally Posted by Dr.Farhan

You kids need to mature up your minds...

and you need to get one ! :P

-peace
stickman!

[kashi]

may i have your permission to speak up DAAC ,

i was waiting for stickman and here he comes but without a bang :S

[Dr.Farhan]

As usual... its always upto my poor burdened shoulders...